And Breathe....Self Care in Liminal Space

So let’s talk about self care, shall we? Let’s go beyond what might immediately come to mind or how Instagram illustrated self care last year. What does self care really mean in 2020, and why is it so important? I am sure each of us can identify a long list of events that are asking us to dig deeper into our self care this year. However, with various closures and rising case numbers our go-to practices might have fallen to the wayside.

We are in an altered reality. We are in the space between. We are in the liminal. We have let go of “normal” and there is a place we are hoping to get to, but no one knows when that will be, or how it will really look. What we know for sure, is that it won’t look like our old normal. And so … we are in the in-between … the threshold between what was … and what will be.

Perhaps you are like me, and your self care battles your To Do List. Can you relate? As the stress of this time continues, the cost of delaying my self care increases. I need to make self care a daily practice without making it a HAVE to but rather a GET to. I have been reading more about anti-racism and white supremacy, and I have learned that a constant state of urgency and a push to constantly be DOING are actually tenets of white supremacy culture and capitalism. Yeah, go ahead and take a moment there. I love to get some stuff done and see all the little checked boxes on my day planner, and the magnitude of this idea made me pause. How many times have we heard about pandemic productiveness since this all began? Time to learn Spanish! Time to learn how to make sourdough bread! Time to start this new program!

What if there was a different way?

This is the power of liminal space. We have the space to change what wasn’t working in the “old normal”. As we explore and learn more about white supremacy culture, the idea of self care becomes not only essential but an act of resistance to an old paradigm. Choosing to be in liminal space versus being forced into liminal space feels very different. I am reminding myself, and all of us that we have a choice in how we respond to this forced liminal space.

@thenapministry

The liminal can feel exciting and romantic, and it can also feel scary, uncertain and full of anxiety. I think the first step in self care is to take stock of where you are right now. Get present with you. Once you do that, you can better decide how best to tend to yourself.

Let’s start with a check-in, yes?

• How are you? … How are you, really?

• Take a moment now, place your palms somewhere on your body, close your eyes and breathe.

• Notice the cadence of your breath as it is in this moment.

• Allow yourself to extend your inhales and exhales by 2 counts.

• Notice any tension or pain in your body and send your breath there.

• After a time that feels just right for you, ask yourself again, how are you?

• Feeling fancy? Pick up your journal and let yourself free write for 5-10 minutes.

• Not feeling wordy? Free draw instead.

• Taking time out and slowing down is an act of self care.

Want some more ideas? As we have explored, unusual times may call for different types of self care. Feel free to try some of these on and let us know how they worked for you.

• Go for a walk. Or try what we call a Wonder Walk. Wait, what is that? This is not a walk for any purpose other than looking with fresh eyes at your surroundings. What draws your attention? What is beautiful to you?

• Not feeling the wonder? Give yourself the assignment of looking for certain shapes or colors. Find triangles. Find the color red. All of this helps give your brain a break from any recurrent track it has been running.

• Follow a creative thread. Try something slightly new that pulls you in. You want it to be just on the edge of your comfort. For example, if you usually paint abstract, try a still life or vice versa. This isn’t about creating a masterpiece. This is about slowing the brain waves, being with color, getting lost in the shape of leaf or the flip of your dog’s ear. Or try painting with your non-dominant hand!

• Laugh! Okay, it can’t be forced, but we have taken to watching stand up and it has been so good to feel laughter moving through our bodies. The laughing records in the 1920’s prove it can be good medicine and laughter is contagious. Or a bit creepy? You decide.

• We are all doing more cooking than usual but how can you flip the switch on the process and allow it to be a feast of the senses? What would be the most nourishing meal for you? Take your time, smell the ingredients as you add them together, sing over the food or have a kitchen dance party with some cherished tunes.

• Speaking of dancing, you can curate your own virtual dance intensive like Erika’s been doing. Moving the body is so important as we navigate change. We have the luxury of taking virtual dance classes almost anywhere these days. Want to try ballet or hip hop? Some of the studios even have free or donation based classes. Want to make it extra fun? Give your personal dance intensive a name. We are fond of “Dancenanigans”.

• Finally, you have the power to curate what information is in your environment. Notice how you feel after reading or watching news or scrolling through social media. Play with giving yourself time containers for these and bookend them with things that lift up your spirits. Never underestimate the power of a good scrub of your social media feed. You have permission to “Unfollow.”

How are you taking care of yourself during this time? What’s working for you? If none of this resonates, just remember the safety rule we used to hear on planes, “put your own oxygen mask on first.” We are all being asked to show up for our families, friends and communities in a stressful time. Everyone is feeling the stretch. Everyone is doing the best they can while being in an ever-changing environment. Self care gives us the moment of pause. It doesn’t need to be a long window of time. It can simply be a moment of mindfulness when washing the dishes. It gives our system a chance to reboot and encourages our stress levels to decrease. It allows us to find our footing on this ever-shifting ground. It can be small and simple and be effective. You’re worth it. The new paradigm needs you.